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TOPIC: Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing

Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing 2 years 4 months ago #98

Not everyone here is recovering from a chemical dependency of some type. Some of us have slightly different needs when approaching Step 4, so I figured why not post the more general questionnaires that gear more toward codependency and emotional healing found in this amazing workbook I've been using:

The Twelve Steps - A Spiritual Journey
A Working Guide for Healing

Note: the following is from the "Step Four" chapter, p. 81-95

If you're one of those having trouble finding resources for Step Four questionaires that isn't dedicated to alcoholism or drugs of some type, then this is especially for you. However, this can be used by everybody seeking to heal some emotional wounds.

Have a happy recovery!
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Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing 2 years 4 months ago #99

Resentment

Resentment is an underlying cause of many forms of spiritual disease. Our mental and physical ills are frequently the direct result of this unhealthy condition. No doubt others have harmed us, and we have a legitimate right to feel resentful. However, resentment doesn't punish anyone but ourselves. We can't hold resentments and find healing at the same time. It's best released by asking God for the strength to forgive the offender. Learning to deal with resentment in a healthy way is an important part of our recovery process.

When we resent, we may be:

* Feeling injured
* Feeling violated
* Feeling left out
* Retaliating
* Experiencing low self-worth
* Angry or bitter

List situations where resentment is a problem for you.

Example: I resent my boss because he doesn't care to hear my explanation of why I am depressed. This affects me self-esteem. This activates unexpressed anger. This makes me feel even more depressed.

I resent _________________________________________________________________

I resent _________________________________________________________________

I resent _________________________________________________________________

I resent _________________________________________________________________

Self evaluation: On a scale from one to ten, how much does resentment negatively affect your life? Number one indicates that it has little effect. Number ten indicates that it has great negative effect. Circle where you are today.

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Last Edit: 2 years 4 months ago by disgruntledgurl.
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Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing 2 years 4 months ago #100

Fear

Fear is an underlying cause of many forms of spiritual disease. It is the first response we feel when we aren't in control of a situation. A wide range of mental and physical ills are frequently the direct result of this unwholesome emotion. Fear often prevents us from seeing options to effectively resolve the issues causing the fear. Learning to acknowledge fear in a healthy way is an important part of our recovery process.

When we fear, we may be:

* Feeling threatened
* Fighting for survival
* Resisting change
* Facing our mortality
* Experiencing rejection
* Anticipating loss



List situations where fear is a problem for you.

Example: I fear my spouce because I feel that I am never able to please him/her. This affects my self-esteem and sexuality. This activates my fear of abandonment. This makes me feel worthless and angry.

I fear _________________________________________________________________

I fear _________________________________________________________________

I fear _________________________________________________________________

I fear _________________________________________________________________

Self evaluation: On a scale from one to ten, how much does fear negatively affect your life? Number one indicates that it has little effect. Number ten indicates that it has great negative effect. Circle where you are today.

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Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing 2 years 4 months ago #101

Repressed or Inappropriately Expressed Anger

Anger is a major source of many problems in the lives of adults who were reared in chaotic homes. It is a feeling that we often suppress, because admitting it makes us uncomfortable. In our chaotic homes, the turmoil was so intense that we either denied our anger or expressed it inappropriately. We felt that it was safer to protect ourselves and simply hoped our feelings would go away. We were not aware that repressed anger could lead to serious resentment and depression. It causes physical complications that can develop into stress-related illnesses. Denying anger or expressing it inappropriately causes problems in relationships because we cannot be truthful about our feelings and must always be pretending.

When we repress or inappropriately express anger, we may experience:

* Resentment
* Self-pity
* Depression
* Jealousy
* Anxiety
* Stress

List situations where anger is a problem for you.

Example: I inappropriately express anger toward my son because I am embarrassed by his behavior. This affects my self-worth. This activates my fear of rejection. This makes me feel incompetent as a parent.

I inappropriately express anger _________________________________________________________________

I inappropriately express anger _________________________________________________________________

I inappropriately express anger _________________________________________________________________

I inappropriately express anger _________________________________________________________________

Self evaluation: On a scale from one to ten, how much does anger negatively affect your life? Number one indicates that it has little effect. Number ten indicates that it has great negative effect. Circle where you are today.

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Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing 2 years 4 months ago #102

Approval Seeking

Many of us fear disapproval or criticism. As children, we desperately wanted to receive approval from our parents, grandparents, siblings, and significant others. This rarely occurred for most of us. As a result, we constantly sought validation. This continued into adulthood and seriously affected the way we pattern our lives and thinking around the needs of others. Rather than look for approval in a positive way, we seek validation in order to feel better about ourselves and get people to like us. This keeps us out of touch with our own feelings and desires, and prevents us from discovering our own wants and needs. We look for reactions in others and attempt to manage their impression of us. We constantly strive to please everyone and often stay in relationships that are destructive to us.

When we need approval from others, we may be:

* People pleasing
* Ignoring our own needs
* Feeling unworthy
* Fearing criticism
* Fearing failure
* Lacking confidence

List situations where approval seeking is a problem for you.

Example: I seek approval from my friends because I want to feel better about myself. This affects my relationship with my friends. This activates my fear of rejection. This makes me feel like I'm not important to anyone.

I seek approval _________________________________________________________________

I seek approval _________________________________________________________________

I seek approval _________________________________________________________________

I seek approval _________________________________________________________________

Self evaluation: On a scale from one to ten, how much does approval seeking negatively affect your life? Number one indicates that it has little effect. Number ten indicates that it has great negative effect. Circle where you are today.

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Step 4 worksheet for Emotional Healing 2 years 4 months ago #103

Caretaking

As children, we frequently assumed the responsibility for concerns and problems of others that were far beyond our capability to handle. As a result, we were deprived of a normal childhood. The unrealistic demands placed on us, and the praise we received for being "little adults," made us believe we had Godlike powers. Taking care of others boosted our self-esteem and made us feel indispensable. It gave purpose to our lives. As caretakers, we are most comfortable with chaotic situations where others assure us that we are needed. Although we often resent others for taking and not giving, we are unable to allow others to care for us. We don't experience the joy of taking care of ourselves.

As caretakers, we may:

* Be co-dependent
* Rescue people
* Lose our identity
* Feel very responsible
* Ignore our own needs
* Feel indispensable

List situations where caretaking is a problem for you.

Example: I take care of my boyfriend's financial problems because I want him to love me more. This affects available funds for my own financial needs. This activates my resentment and tendency to withdraw. This makes me feel very lonely.

I take care of _________________________________________________________________

I take care of _________________________________________________________________

I take care of _________________________________________________________________

I take care of _________________________________________________________________

Self evaluation: On a scale from one to ten, how much does caretaking negatively affect your life? Number one indicates that it has little effect. Number ten indicates that it has great negative effect. Circle where you are today.

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