Sobriety - Why bother?[Nov 8, 2008]
Howdy All -
Gonna be another downright pretty day here today. I was thinking it was a good day to drag the box of Legos out and make a really neat house. Then I could play disaster movie and drop a really big rock on it. Asteroid. Cool. Big mess - Ken and Barbie will never be the same.
Speaking of houses, I was checking my six this morning. Didn't find any thing of great import or earthshaking doom, but a few spots that need a little shoring up. I deem it important to do this - since misery and death are a pretty sucky alternative.
Why? My recovery (both physical and emotional) is totally dependent on me doing certain things to keep me spiritually centered. The three sides of the triangle formed by cleaning house, trusting God and helping others are akin to the foundation and framework of a house. A bulwark against intrusion by the nefarious forces of my old buddy, the evil "Al Cohol" (melodrama, love it - my version of Snidely Whiplash). Faulty work on any one segment of the house can cause the whole thing to come crashing down around my ears. Ow.
My belief that recovery is not just staying away from that first drink may not be shared by others. But I pose this question; if all I do is not drink, what is the value in that? What purpose does it serve if I change nothing else? I do all the same insane things and play the same jerk I was before - why bother? Might as well drink.
Notice the triangle says nothing about drinking. Nary a word. We take out the trash and sweep the floors. We trust in a power greater than ourselves (I happen to call mine God or Jesus - and frequently). We go out of our way to help others (not just when it is convenient. In His time, not ours). Nothing in the equation says anything about drinking. I believe that there can come a point in ones recovery where drinking or using is not even considered as an option.
Today I may consider many alternatives to any given situation, but a bottle of canadian or a case of beer is no longer one of them. I also believe that is when I must be most proactive about my spiritual balance (housekeeping, if I may). Complacency will allow the sands to shift under my foundation, termites to chew away the frame, wind to blow the shingles off. It won't come down around my ears today. But I believe it surely will - only time can tell.
I guess this prattling is not only for me (although I do love the sound of my typing), but for anyone just using meetings and sheer resolve or will power to stay sober. Always remember there is one other alternative to proactive recovery - it's called total misery followed shortly by a long dirt nap. Quite permanent.
Please stick with it. Find a meeting, get a sponsor and live (not just do or work) the steps. Dive into the program. It works in ways I never even imagined when I first walked in the door.
Thank you all for being a part of my recovery...